Ezerra
by Leopardheart-Naux-Kadaj
Summary: I'm Ezerra and I was an outcast. Then I met the Teen Titans and everythings different. I want to be one of them. Read to find out my story
1. Finding the Titans

**Hey! Chapter one, Improved version! I was going back through my reviews and thought to myself, 'Self, I need to improve my story.' So here I am. **

I walked through the empty side-street of Jump City. I busted a fire hydrant with shadowy telepathic and calmly walked away. Was I a villain? No. But my plan caused me act like one. I snapped a few telephone wires with my shadow telepathic powers. I thought of lifting up a boulder and smashing it through a store window but that would alert the police and that was not how I wanted this to go.

It was the Teen Titans I was after.

* * *

Back at the Tower, an alert flashed on the screen in the living room and alarms sounded loudly.

"Titans, trouble." Robin said to the others. "Downtown."

The titans left the tower and headed downtown. "Search the streets." Robin ordered.

"Um, we don't have to," Raven said montonely, pointing down the street.

Out of the corner of my eye, I saw the Titans. I gave them no sign that I had though. As they got within four yards of me, I rose up into the air as fast as a bullet. I hovered there, looking down at them. Starfire and Raven leaped up and joined me for air melee. Suddenly, Starfire hands glowed a neon green and shot jade-colored star bolts at me, and I dived to avoid them. Cyborg fired shots at me me with his laser cannon. I swerved them, but a piece of my cape got burned, a black, charred section of my bright white cape.

Beast Boy launched himself in to the air as a giant bird and brought me to the ground. I slid a few feet and as I was righting myself, about to fly again, a streak of red and green pushed me to a wall. It was Robin, the infamous Boy Wonder.

"Who are you and what are you doing here?" He demanded. The other four titans gathered behind him, all of them watching me with narrowed eyes.

Before now, I had kept my hood on, to viel my face in shadow. I pulled down my hood and shook my head, my long purple hair fell down past my shoulders. "I-I'm Ezerra. I-I need your help."

Behind Robin, Beast Boy said, "You could've walked up to the Tower and--" He didn't finish because Raven elbowed him in the ribs. Point one for Raven.

"I thought if I acted villianish you guys would come," I said quietly, my barely above a whisper. Now, my reason sounded so stupid as I said it.

Robin stared me in the face and I looked back at his mask, praying my amethyst gaze would not betray my fear inside. "Whatever it is you need, you can explain at the tower."

My eyes widened. A few words and I was going to the Titans Tower! Robin let go of my shoulders and began heading back to the Tower. I followed in the back beside Raven.

"Hi," I said quietly.

"Hello," she replied, her monotone voice sounding a bit cold. "Why are you here?"

"I'm going to explain a bit now and the rest at the tower."

I talked to Raven as we headed to the Tower. More like she nodded or said a short reply of a couple words after me saying a sentence or two; she isn't talkitive and I was nervous.

* * *

I was sitting on the couch with the Titans sitting around me. I felt closed in, and like I had commited a huge crime. Does wrecking part of a city count as huge crime?

"Why are you here?" Robin asked calmly. The Boy Wonder's voice was flat, emotionless, and his masked eyes were narrowed.

I took a deep breath and began, "I lived in an orphanage a few miles from here. I knew I was different from the other kids. It's obvious why. The orphanage woman knew I was different too. Two weeks ago two of the kids went missing and I went looking for them. I found them but… they were dead. The caretaker called the police on me when she found me so I fled. I have no where to go, I tried looking for a home but the news spread that I was a criminal.

"I didn't hurt those kids—they were like sixteen but still—but no one believed me." I finished and looked at my feet.

"So every person you have come across thinks you're a criminal?" Robin asked.

"Yes."

Raven spoke up. "She's from my dimension, Robin. Don't you see the resemblance? No wonder everyone thought she was criminal."

I was shocked that she said this; why should she stand up for me, a stranger? A known criminal? Someone with the kind of power she had? Someone dangerous? I noticed how similar we looked. Same dark purple eyes and hair, same bone structure. I was slightly tanner and my hair was longer.

Robin obviously just noticed this. "Well, you're right Raven. As for your story, I don't believe you have done anything wrong. You can stay at the Tower for now; that is, until we can find you somewhere else."

His tone was not welcoming; rather, it was coated with unwant for a guest in the tower, espically a powerful stranger. Nervertheless, I suddenly just wanted to throw my arms around him and thank him but I smiled instead. "Thanks!"

"So new girl-"

"Ezerra," I corrected.

"Is staying?" Beast Boy asked.

"Yep." Raven replied.

"We should make breakfast for dinner to welcome our new guest!" Starfire said.

"Oh yeah!" Cyborg agreed. "Sorry 'bout the cape." He said, eyeing the burnt piece.

"Its fine and I love breakfast for dinner."

"Tofu waffles tonight!" Beast Boy shouted.

I looked at him like he was crazy. Cyborg stole my words: "Dude, nobody likes tofu waffles!"

We joked and laughed together as if I had known the Titans all my life. They were the coolest people I had ever met. They were nice and funny. I wished I could be one of them. At least then I'd have real friends and family. Well, at least _most _of the Teen Titans were interacting with me. This excluded Robin and Raven, who sat silent and almost broodingly away from me, Beast Boy, Starfire and Cyborg.

"So what are we doing tomorrow?" I asked, half wondering if I should've spoken.

"Um, well I was going to do some battle training," Robin answered.

"And I planned on kickin' BB's butt at video games," said Cyborg.

"Nuh-uh!" argued Beast Boy.

"Cool," I said. I yawned unexpectedly.

"Today has been an interesting day," said Starfire. "Maybe it's time for sleep?"

"I think so," I muttered, suddenly feeling tired at the mention of sleep.

The guys walked away towards their side of the Tower while I followed Starfire and Raven toward their rooms.

"Where do I sleep?" I asked.

"Would you like to sleep in my room?" Starfire asked. "It is a bit creepy in the room of Raven."

"Sure," I said and followed Starfire into her room. She had a wide open room with lots of space and a giant bed. I ran across the room and hopped onto the bed.

"You're bed is comfortable." I commented.

"Thank you." Starfire said. "Sorry about the firing of star bolts at you. I thought you were..."

"It's fine," I replied while curling in to a ball on one side of the bed. I was half-asleep when Starfire murmured, "Good night, Ezerra. I think we will be good friends."

"Night," I whispered. "I think we will too."

**I have added a few more details and such. I'm revising all of my chapters, 1-14. Thanks to all my reviewers who helped me continue to write this story and have stayed with me since the beginning last year and even when it has sucked. **

**Ezerra**


	2. About The Titans

**Hey! Chapter two, Improved version! **

* * *

I woke up, blinking because of the bright sunlight flooding through the window. I yawned and sat up, stretching as I did so. Starfire was already awake--doing what, I had no idea. I got up and padded out of her room. It felt a bit odd to be in the Titans Tower, since I wasn't one of them. I was a stranger in their household, but I was grateful for their compassion to share with me something I didn't have.

I walked into the food-filled kitchen and opened up the fridge. I leaned in and opened up a drawer, pulling out a bag of frozen pancakes when a slightly-familiar voice behind the fridge door said, "Hey Ezerra."

Startled, I hit my purple-haired head on a drawer of me. That's right, _Ow. _I closed the fridge door with my elbow, rubbing my head with one hand and holding my cold breakfast in the other.

"Sorry," apologized none other than the Boy Wonder. "I didn't mean to startle you."

"It's okay. I've always been clumsy," I replied simply.

"Um, about yesterday…" Robin began, not looking at me, a gloved hand running through his spiky black hair.

"It's fine," I said awkwardly.

"Ok, well, I'll be on the roof, doing some combat practice." He turned to go after he said this and added, "You can come watch if you'd like."

He left silently and I heated up some pancakes. I scarfed them down then headed to the roof.

Robin was fighting multiple robotic dummies at a time with little effort. He was good; and I mean, really good. He moved on to a laser field and easily avoided being burned. After watching him admiringly for a bit, I stepped forward and moved everything aside. I placed some lasers in a square, creating an arena.

"Thought you'd join me, huh?" Robin asked, raising an eyebrow beneath his mask.

I nodded and grinned. I thought I saw him give me a half smile but I couldn't be sure. I got into fighting stance, knees slightly bent and I slightly rocked back and forth. Before he could attack, I jumped and spun, sticking my leg out so my foot hit him in the chest. He staggered a bit as I landed in a crouch, one leg out behind me. I spun around and my leg knocked his feet out from under him.

I stood up and got into fighting stance and so did he. I sloppily aimed punches at him a few times, but most of them he blocked. I kneed him in the side causing him to spin and fall on his face. I put a foot on his back and pulled one of his legs over his back for a few moments before jumping away because he almost kicked me in the face with his other leg.

I got back into fighting stance again. He got up and pulled out the nightstick he uses. I tried to take it from him but he held on tight. I held on firmly and pushed it against his chest, pushing him away. Robin, being stronger than me, managed to push it back at me so hard I stumbled back and fell. Before I had a chance to get up, he was already there, and planted a foot on my chest. I turned my head sideways and closed my eyes, as if I was dead. I opened one eye and saw him grin at me quickly.

Maybe instead of my lame joke, it was because he felt sorry for me; I wasn't _too _good at hand-to-hand combat.

"I lose," I said, removing his foot. I rolled onto my hands and knees and got up. "You're a great fighter, Robin. I'm glad I'm on your side."

I removed the lasers and walked away. I headed back into the tower to find out what the others were doing.

Beast Boy and Cyborg were playing video games in the living room—where else? Cyborg was beating Beast Boy, like he said he would. I walked up behind them.

"May I join you?" I asked.

"Sure," said Cyborg. I grabbed a controller and plopped down beside them as a new race began.

My little black car zoomed past Beast Boy's green one rather quickly, placing me in second. I smiled to myself.

Cyborg commented, "Hey, look Beast Boy, you just got whooped by a girl!"

I resisted the urge to call out, "Sexist much?" Instead, I focused on beating the half-robot. My car was creeping up on Cyborg's and if I hit the nitro at the right time I would……

"Yes!" I shouted as my car beat Cyborg's at the last second.

Cyborg was open-mouthed as Beast Boy said, "Hey look Cyborg, you just got beat by a girl!"

I ignored how sexist that was and giggled. "Didn't I tell you guys I played racing games at the orphanage?"

They both looked at each other, and then me with wide eyes and said, "No."

"Well, you know now!" I said, laughing at the appalled looks on their faces.

"Rematch!" the guys shouted.

"If you really want to be beat again, sure," I said and we raced again. And I won again. Surprise, surprise.

After racing many more rounds which I only lost two of, I got up and walked into the kitchen. I was thirsty and found Raven there, sipping some herbal tea silently. Her face was clouded with thoughts as she slowly drained her warm drink.

"May I have some?" I asked.

"You like herbal tea?" she asked flatly, raising an eyebrow.

"Yeah," I replied. "Who doesn't?"

"Everyone else in the tower."

"Oh," I said pouring myself a cup. I drank it quickly.

"Have you seen Starfire?" I asked.

"No." She got up and began walking to her room.

"Where are you going?" I called after her.

"To my room to meditate."

"May I join you?"

"Sure." She replied with a bit of contradicting unwelcomeness in her voice after a pause and I followed her to her room. She opened the door and let me in and then shut it behind us. I saw a dresser and her bed on the opposite wall. I saw a mirror on the dresser. I didn't touch it, since it looked dangerous and it wasn't mine. Knowing only that Raven was a dark, brooding person, the mirror could be powerful as well as something I shouldn't touch.

She sat down in the middle room and levitated there. I floated opposite of her. We murmured the words in unison, "Azarath, metrion, zinthos."

I felt at peace and it felt good to be calm. My soul felt at rest, my entire form blissfully calm. Just me and my thoughts in a sleep-like motionless position. I was able to be within myself, examining my emotions.

After a while Raven stopped meditating. She prodded me on the shoulder and I came out of my trance. I opened my eyes and she said a magic word: "Lunch-time."

I jumped up and headed straight into the kitchen. The smell of good food met my nose and I sat down between Raven and Robin.

"What's for lunch?" I asked.

"The BLTs," Starfire replied, setting the delicious plates of sandwiches on the table.

"Where have you been?" I questioned curiously.

"In my room, feeding my bumgorf, Silkie," She replied simply.

"What?" I gasped, almost choking on the water I had been drinking.

"Long story," said Beast Boy.

After Starfire placed the BLT's on the table, everyone grabbed one. Except Beast Boy who had a disgusted look on his face and was eating a salad.

"How come you're not—oh wait you're a vegetarian," I said, remembering that Beast Boy could turn into a pig. I felt sort of guilty but not enough to keep from eating my bacon, lettuce and tomato sandwich.

"Yep."

We ate and joked and laughed, just like last night's dinner. I began levitating Beast Boy's cup of water over his head, tipping it a bit as if I would pour it on him. Cyborg and I tried really hard to control our laughing but it was funny to see a few drops fall on his head and him wonder where it came from. He freaked as water seemed to spontaneously drip onto his head.

"Titans, trouble!" Robin shouted, startling me so that I flung the drink across the room. It smashed against the wall, littering the floor with shattered glass and soaking it with whatever Beast Boy had been drinking.

"What?! Oh, sorry about the drink." I apologized, dark purple eyes wide at the thought that trouble had come already.

**I have added a few more details and such. I'm revising all of my chapters, 1-14. Thanks to all my reviewers who helped me continue to write this story and have stayed with me since the beginning last year and even when it has sucked. **

**Ezerra**


	3. First Fight

**Hey! Chapter three, Improved version! **

**I have seven reviews so I'm updating. Happy Mudtalon?**

* * *

Everyone got up from the table and dashed into the living room. I got up slowly, and followed them into the living room.

"What's going on?" I asked.

"Robbery, in the center of the city," Robin reported.

"Who's dumb enough to rob something, in broad daylight, in the center of the city?" I asked skeptically.

"I don't know."

The Titans began to leave the Tower. I followed behind them, my steps uncertain.

"Do I get to go?" I questioned softly. I mentally smacked myself for asking such a dumb question but I wanted to be sure.

Robin thought for a moment and then said, "I think you're ready to fight, though you've only been with us a day." _You know, as a test to who's side you are really on, _the Boy Wonder added to himself.

"Thanks."

We left quickly. Those of us who could fly, flew over to where the crime alert had shown the robbery was taking place. It looked like a high-security place, and by the way it looked it made me wonder how anyone could have gotten in.

I followed behind the Titans into the building. I looked over my shoulder many times, as if I was expected a sneak attack. I was a bit wary, just a bit. I put my hood on; it somehow made me not afraid. Call me weird. I don't really mind.

We stopped suddenly. There was a dark room ahead, with a single spotlight on a silver pipe looking thing floating in the light. A few shadows moved forward on the other side of the room, so I thought. _Are there actual people over there or is my mind playing a trick on me?_ I asked myself.

A person shot forward toward the pipe but Robin, letting out a fierce battle cry, intercepted him. The other people tried and failed to get to the pipes, thanks to the other Titans. There was one more person, one person left for me. I was nervous; I wasn't sure what to do if he lunged forward to pipe.

But I surprised myself by attacking the person when he tried to steal it. He aimed a punch at my nose, but I grabbed his fist and twisted his arm back. He gave a loud gasp and I let him go. He jumped at me and kicked me in the gut. I staggered backwards, the breath knocked from my body but I shook my head and lunged for him. He was fast but I was much faster. I grabbed his arm, twisted him around and punched him right in the face. He flipped away from me. He ran for the pipe again but I used my powers to throw him sideways. He flew into a dark wall, an effect I hadn't planned on. I had just been so mad and I hurt from his kick……

I gasped in realitization. My powers were controlled by how much I felt. The man in black with silver armor got back up, which surprised me. I thought he was going to stay down. He took out a silver metal stick, one like Robin's, and spun it a few times before trying to hit me with it. I backed up to avoid the stick colliding with my legs, gut or worse, my face. I backed up into Robin who was taking on two guys at once. He was handling them very well, better than I could have. The metal stick was attached to Robin's belt. I used my powers to take it; I had had to use my arms to block to the attacks from my opponent and it hurt. I knew I'd have so many bruises.

"Can I borrow this? Thanks!" I yelled at him while blocking an attack with my new weapon.

I smacked the guy in the legs with my—well Robin's—metal stick. He gasped in pain and fell backwards. I stood over him and lifted him up with my powers.

"Get out of here!" I shouted and threw him. He landed a few feet from me after sliding. I realized how powerful I was like I never had before at that moment. I wasn't sure whether to be happy or afraid. Oh well.

He got up, swayed a bit and fled. I glared after him, as if I was daring him to come back. When he didn't, I went to help Robin—and return his weapon.

He was still fighting those two guys alone. Beast Boy had teamed up with Starfire and Cyborg with Raven, so I had to help Robin. He didn't need it really, but I couldn't just stand by and watch as if I didn't care. I fell in beside him and took on one of his opponents. I—accidentally but effectively—smacked a guy upside the head with my metal weapon. The guy just fell over and didn't get up, so I began to fight the guy that Robin was fighting from behind. He couldn't fight me and Robin at the same time--obviously--so when he was facing me Robin would attack from behind. After a few moments of this, I leaped up and spun, catching the guy in the side of the head with my foot.

He dropped down beside the other guy. Unconscious, I suppose. I looked around and saw that others had defeated their opponents too. I handed Robin his nightstick back. He minmized and placed it on his belt.

I felt proud; I had actually helped the Titans and taken on an opponent—two actually—on my own. I saw a shiny silver "S", which had a flat bend so it could be held and thrown easier, on the ground, and picked it up. I looked over it then turned to Robin and asked, "What's this? Who does it stand for?"

Robin looked at it and narrowed his eyes—well mask. "Slade," he said coldly.

**I have added a few more details and such. I'm revising all of my chapters, 1-14. Thanks to all my reviewers who helped me continue to write this story and have stayed with me since the beginning last year and even when it has sucked. **

**Ezerra**


	4. Who is Slade?

Revised version.

**Thanks for those who reviewed! I couldn't hold myself back, I just had to put this chapter up! It's my fave out of the four I've written. Happy mudtalon? I updated just like you wanted me to! Enjoy!**

"Where's Robin?" I asked once I had changed my outfit. Instead of white, I now had a purple long-sleeved leotard and a black hooded cape. I had walked into the living room to find all of the Titans except for the Boy Wonder.

"Where he usually is when Slade's up to something—his room," Beast Boy replied with a sigh and continued playing the game station.

"Ok, thanks," I said and left the living room. I walked down the dim hallway and stopped in front of Robin's door. I knocked on it with a quick flick of my wrist. It opened quickly and I stepped in cautiously.

Robin was leaned over his desk, looking over some _stuff_; I couldn't really tell what it was.

"Robin?" I asked quietly.

"Yes?" He turned his head towards me.

"I have a question." I said while walking over to him. "Who is Slade?"

"Slade is a villain, one of the best I've ever faced. He's a man in a mask, but I don't know who," Robin began. "He's a cruel and cunning psychopath so it's not hard to believe he's up to something again."

"Again?" I asked, confused.

"Yes, this is the third time he has come back. I've been trying to stop him, ever since he forced me to become his apprentice." Robin continued.

"What?" I gasped while thinking, _Robin? A bad guy? NO!_

"It was the only way to stop him from destroying the others," Robin said, his head down. Was it shame that made him hide his face? Was it anger? "It showed me how much we were alike and I hate to admit that I'm similar to that criminal."

"You are nothing like him!" I blurted out.

"Determined, clever, leader-like, and revenge-seekers. We are alike, Ezerra."

"But you're not a criminal. You have people who care about you and trust you. Slade doesn't have that." I insisted.

Robin was silent for a moment. "You're right," he said finally. "But that doesn't mean we aren't alike in other ways."

I had to admit then he was right. "Besides making you become his apprentice, what has Slade done?" I asked curiously.

"Lots of things. He's used Cinderblock to steal things, he's used the H.I.V.E. people to kick us out of our home for a while, and he's had another apprentice, Terra, but not against her will. Terra got herself turned to stone when she stopped Slade, after seeing he wasn't trying to help her, but himself," Robin explained.

His words sunk in, Slade was a major criminal. I wanted to stop him from hurting other people and stealing and I wanted him behind bars. Like right now. I tried not to dwell on the Terra fact; someone had _wanted _to be like Slade?

"What do you think he's planning this time?" I asked.

"I thought you said you had _a _question?" Robin said, his tone smart-alecky. "I don't know what he's planning but I will find out."

"Well, I hadn't _planned_ on asking more questions." I replied, my tone even with his. "I know we will. I want him behind bars as soon as possible."

"So do I. But I don't think it will happen all that soon," Robin sighed.

I looked at the many things on the desk; the mask of black that was only a half with jagged edges.

"Slade's mask?" I asked, pointing to it.

"Only a part of it," he replied.

I saw a boomerang looking thing; I'd seen one on his belt. Except this one was broken. There was a silver "S" like the one I'd picked up earlier. I saw other Slade or Robin-related things. And all around the room I noticed their were clippings of other villains too.

For some odd reason, all the exhaustion from fighting and the fact that straight afterwards I had then put together my look, crashed over me. I suddenly felt all the pain from where I'd been hit with the nightstick and kicked.

Robin must have seen the look on my face because he then asked, "Are you okay?"

"Yeah, I'm fine." I replied. "I'm just a bit…"

I didn't finish because I had fallen over slightly and into the darkness of peaceful sleep. Finally.

* * *

Robin looked at his shoulder. Ezerra had fallen asleep from exhaustion on him. He had to admit that she looked peaceful and... _cute_ when she was asleep, her long hair draped over her face. He couldn't stand there with her leaning on him so he picked her up slowly, in a way so that he didn't wake her.

He held her for a moment; he wasn't sure whether to find Starfire and give Ezerra to her or to just lay her down somewhere comfortable. He, not wanting to risk dropping her on the way to Starfire's room, laid her on his bed and covered her with a blanket.

He continued to work quietly, way into the night, until he just about dropped from exhaustion himself. He flicked off the lights; he left his room and headed into the living room. Everyone else was already in their rooms at this hour. He lay on the couch, looking out the living room window at the city below. Before he knew it, he sank into dreamless sleep.

**That's chapter four people! Review and like I said before, if you can't say anything good about it and can only flame it, go and leave me and my story alone.**

**_Ezerra_**


	5. Second Battle

**Revised version.**

**Ezerra Chapter five**

I woke up and looked around while thinking, _Where am I?_ Then I remembered how I had been in Robin's room last night and I figured that I had fallen asleep in here. _Wait, if I'm in Robin's room, then where's Robin?_

I leaped out of bed and hurried out of the room. Not only was I searching for the Boy Wonder, but I was hungry. I figured busy day minus eating enough that night equals extreme hunger the next morning. I walked into the living room to find Robin, just waking up, on the couch. Okay, so he had been a gentleman last night and slept on the couch so I could sleep. Point for Robin.

I swiftly walked into the kitchen and got myself a bowl of cereal, about the only thing besides re-heating foods, I could make. I could not cook whatsoever.

I ate it quickly and just wandered around the Tower. Cyborg was in the gym, Raven was in her room meditating and Beast Boy was on the roof. I walked to Starfire's room and knocked on the door.

"Come in!" said a cheery voice.

The door opened and I stepped in. The sight before me was a bit startling to someone who has never seen a large silkworm. Starfire was holding a giant pale-colored caterpillar-looking bug. It was huge, and I retained a shriek of surprise. Barely, but I did.

Starfire must've seen the shocked look in my eyes because she reassured me, "He is quite harmless, and he does not wish to hurt you."

"He's huge! Where did you get him?" I asked curiously, walking over to her and sitting across from her, while keeping my distance from the silkworm.

"He was left here by Killer Moth," she replied.

"Oh…who's Killer Moth?"

"He is a villain along with his mean daughter Kitten. They tried to destroy our city once," the alien said.

"Ok, does _it_ have a name?" I asked, gesturing toward the over-large caterpillar.

"His name is Silkie." She said, tickling Silkie's belly. It squirmed a bit, like a person does when you tickle them.

It—I mean Silkie, was cute, for a large moth baby. But I had a fear of bugs so he being a large bug was really creeping me out.

"You may hold him if you like," she said.

"Um, thanks but I have a fear of bugs, to be truthful," I admitted.

"Oh," Starfire said, now loudly cooing at Silkie.

"Well, when I was six this boy at the orphanage showed me his bug collection in this room and he locked me in there. So I've been afraid of bugs since," I explained, shuddering at the memory.

"So these boys were not very nice?" Starfire asked.

"Well, they loved to pick on me so they were definitely not the nicest but it's just boys I guess," I replied. "I mean, younger boys are always picking on girls."

"On my planet, boys were nice to the girls and even nicer when they liked them. It is different here?"

"Yeah, boys here are rude to girls when they like them. It's weird, I don't get it. Your ways are much more sensible."

We talked and chatted until a red light started flashing and an alarm sounded. _Trouble? Already? _I wondered as I followed Starfire out of the room.

As we entered the living room, I saw Robin's face. It looked hard as stone with his eyes expressionless but I could tell by how he stood that it was Slade again. We left the Tower quickly and before we split up to search the city Robin turned to me and pulled something from his belt.

"It's a titan communicator. If you get into trouble while we're searching, let us know," the Boy Wonder said. I nodded and leaped into the air, and began flying west. Raven and Starfire began heading north, Cyborg and Beast Boy heading north and Robin was following me on foot. I flew over multiple alleyways, while Robin walked the open street. I thought I saw some people in the alleyway below me, so I hovered where I was.

There was definitely someone there so I circled lower. More than one someone, there was a small group of about five men standing in the shadows. I looked across the street, where there was a shadowy side-street; five guys in black stood there. I flew forward to the next street quickly and saw three guys standing in hiding. From above they weren't hidden, but to any passerby they were……

Robin kept walking as though he couldn't see what I could.

"Robin!" I shouted, flying up behind him. I made a crappy landing, almost tripping and falling and ran up to him. "Robin, it's an ambush!"

Right as the words left my lips the people in the shadows emerged and surrounded us. Robin and I stood back to back, our eyes watching in front, looking at the people surrounding us. There were thirteen of them, eight more than last time. And we were short four titans. _Yep, the odds are in our favor, _I thought sarcastically to myself.

But I wasn't nervous like last time. I knew what to do this time. I knew what kind of strength I had.

I let out a battle cry and launched myself at the nearest guy. I kicked him in the gut and smacked him back with my shadow power. I guess I smacked him a bit too far, because he hit another guy who got smacked into a wall. _Nice one_, I thought to myself.

Both of them stayed down so I threw myself at the next two guys. I did a spin kick that caught them both in the chest. They staggered back in opposite directions and then ran at me. At the last moment I leaped into the air and with a thud they smacked each other.

I landed and looked for Robin. He was taking on three guys at once using that stick thing he has on two of them and he kicked the third guy in the head. He slumped to the ground, and I assumed he was down. I pulled out my communicator and shouted, "Titans, its Ezerra! Robin and I need help! We are on the west side of town!"

Before I could listen for a reply, a guy jumped on me from behind. My knees buckled under the weight and I fell on my face. He sat on me, I could feel his knees on either side of my waist and he was pulling my arms behind my back, trying to tie my wrists.

I couldn't do anything but squirm. My mind was too filled with panic at being bound to use my powers. Then I realized I could kick him. I kicked the guy in the back somehow and he slipped off me.

The other Titans arrived and began helping; the battle was almost over. I saw a new girl arrive and she used rocks to smack a guy upside the head. Before I realized it, it was over. But I didn't know whose side that new girl was on, so I picked a mailbox with my powers and got ready to chuck it at her when Beast Boy said, "Dude, don't smack her! It's Merra!"

"Who?" I asked, putting down the mailbox in its previous place.

"Terra's twin sister," Beast Boy replied.

Merra was a tallish girl with big brown eyes and long brown hair, just past her shoulders. Her skin was fair in color and she wore a pair of blue jeans and a green t-shirt with a brown jacket over it.

"Nothing, really." She replied. "Just wandering, as I usually do. Decided to drop by and see my sister's best pals. Who's this?" she asked, gesturing to me.

"I'm Ezerra," I answered. I wanted to say_, "A new titan."_ but I wasn't sure what they considered me as.

"Cool name. You been here long?"

"Yeah, I lived in the orphanage downtown for fifteen years and then--well maybe we should talk at the Tower?" I suggested, knowing the story was a bit lengthy.

"Yeah, sounds fun." Merra agreed.

We headed back to the tower, chatting with Merra the along the way. I wondered in the back of my mind what she thought of me. Annoying for my chatter, or friendly?

* * *

The masked man watched the video again, looking carefully how the long-haired girl attacked his minions. _Her skill was well, but she could use some training, _he mused. She had figured out how to stop herself from being bound quickly enough. She was an excellent fighter, for the small amount he had seen of her, and what to make her better than for her to have powers. Very dangerous, unmastered powers.

"She's coming along nicely. I will continue with my plan." The masked man said, stopping the video and walking away from the screen.

**Hope you enjoyed.**

**Ezerra**


	6. Decisions

**Hello! Sorry it took me a while to update, i had other things to deal with! Thanks to all my reviewers! Now I present, Chapter Six!**

A few weeks passed without a single hint of Slade, which I found odd. He sends his Slade-bots after us twice in the same week and then not at all for the rest of the month. Merra left after a few days of staying at the tower, wandering was her thing she had said. On a Tuesday, a black-haired girl arrived at the tower, and again everyone knew exactly who she was while I knew nothing. Well, it's what I get for being new.

"Hey, I'm Nicole, Robin's cousin." The tall, black-haired girl said. She looked a lot like the Boy Wonder, except that her hair was shoulder length and flat and she had brown eyes.

"So how long are you staying?" I asked.

"Just a few days. You?" Nicole asked.

I was spared having to say _I don't know_, by Robin, who said, "Hey, Nicole, want to come train with us?"

"Sure," she said and the three of us headed onto the roof.

"How 'bout I show Nicole what skills I have first?" I say as we walk to the training square.

"Why not?" said Robin. Nicole backed away from the square while Robin and I faced each other.

When he threw himself at me, I put up a shadow block. He stopped in front of it confused, as I flipped over it and kicked him in the back. He stumbled and whipped around to face me. He aimed a punch and it smacked me right in the nose, it was my turn to stumble back.

I shook my head and leapt at him. I do a round-house kick that brought him to the ground. I know better than to hit someone when they are down so I waited a few seconds so he could get up. He got up and immediately flung himself at me with a battle cry and I shot into the air. I touched back down and he threw series of punches at me, all of which I either caught or blocked.

My skills had certainly been improving, I mused as I brought this fight to a close my placing my foot on his back while he lay on the ground.

"I have a feeling that I won," I said happily as I let him up.

"Me too," he said into the ground.

Right as he brushed himself off and opened his mouth to say something to his cousin, Beast Boy burst through the Tower door and ran up to us. "It's him."

I sighed inwardly. Of course it was, who else would it be? And what better time to show up then when I was having fun—if you called training fun?

We rushed into the city and it was clear to where they were; destruction was wrought all-over the side of the city. When we arrived, instead of the Slade-bots I had fought last time. There were four people—two men and two women—dressed in black awaited us.

I mean the Titans and me; I'm not a true Titan.

The ninja-looking people seemed ready for us. Robin yelled a battle cry and the five of us attacked the black-clothed villains. I was handling one on my own. I muttered, "Azarath, metrion, sinthos!" and picked him up using dark energy. I threw him aside, where he smacked the ground. He stayed down for a moment or two but after shaking his head he leaped up again and we battled martial arts style.

While everyone else dealt with their own ninja, I pinned mine up to a wall.

"What are you doing here?" I snarled at him, my voice thick with ferocity.

"He has sent us," he replied in a calm voice. "He wants something of you and he has something you want."

As I smacked him to the wall, angered that he had given me a riddle, not an answer, he kicked me in the gut, which knocked the air from my body. I staggered back and gasped in pain and before I could attack again, he disappeared like smoke.

Everyone else's opponents were gone as well.

_Weird…_I thought to myself as the six of us headed back to the Tower.

That night, I sat on the roof, pondering the man's words. He wants something of you…. Obviously 'he' was Slade but what was special about me?

Nothing.

But, then again, was I more use to the villain than to the Titans? He wanted me for something; I wouldn't have to prove my loyalty or trustworthiness to him.

The Titans acted like they trusted me, liked they liked me, but I knew that behind my back I was given thoughts of mistrust and wariness. They let me eat with them, live with them, but when it seemed I didn't know they kept an eye on me, as if waiting for me to mess up.

He has something for me; does that mean a home? Information?

One thing was for sure; whatever decision I made, whether to leave or stay, I would have regrets. For if I stayed, I'd always wonder what would have been. But if I leave, I might be plummeting into a trap. This was highly likely.

I stood up; had decided to go. I couldn't stay here with them for much longer anyway. I was only a burden to them, I knew it. Maybe it would be better I left.

I took a running start off of the T-shaped building and just as my feet left the ground I felt something tug on my cape. I looked down and saw the Boy Wonder, confusion written on his face.

"Where are you going?" Robin asked.

"I am only a burden to you, the Titans." I began my voice cracking as I spoke. I was leaving the only family I'd ever had. "I'm finding somewhere where I won't be."

Confusion did not leave his face but only deepened as I stepped on his hand to make him left go of me. I head a loud ripping noise and noticed that he was holding a piece of black cloth—part of my cape. I flew off into the night, only looking back to say, "I'm sorry, good-bye."

Robin watched the Azarathian leave, stunned and confused. She flew off into the darkness and then disappeared from sight. He held a piece of Ezerra's cape, which he didn't notice he was until he looked at his gloved hand. He headed back inside.

When he entered the living room, the other Titans were waiting for him. He held up the cape piece.

"Ezerra has left?" Starfire asked.

Robin nodded.

"I always had my doubts about her," said Raven. "She seemed like she was innocent but she wanted something else; acceptance."

"But we did accept her!" exclaimed the Tameranian.

"Not all of us," Robin spoke. "Ever since Terra's incident, I was wary when I first let her stay. She seemed very powerful, and I was cautious for our safety. She wanted a home, but I knew I'd never be ale to fully call her one of us. All because of the Terra thing. I never wanted to place my trust in someone again."

"I guess she thought she wasn't welcome," input Cyborg.

"Well, she wasn't, was she?" the empathic girl said. "We were all cautious and wary; I knew I didn't want her to stay too long. I think its better she's gone. Maybe she'll find a home."

"What are you talking about, Rae?" Beast Boy said. "She was an orphan; what home? It was fun while she was here. I trusted her, but I guess that I shouldn't have, seeing how she just walked out on us."

The Titans were silent after he spoke.

"I got in her mind just a few minutes ago," Raven whispered, breaking the odd silence.

"What did you hear?" Robin questioned.

"She thought she was just a burden and she wanted to go somewhere where she didn't have to prove herself. And…." The purple-haired girl trailed off.

"And what?" asked Cyborg.

"Slade was on her mind."

"So?" Robin asked but then the thoughts connected. Would she really do that, after knowing how cruel he was?

"I was fighting nearby Ezerra when her opponent said something of the oddness, _He wants something of you and he has something you want._" Starfire added.

"It was a trap!" Beast Boy exclaimed.

"Well, of course." Shrugged Raven.

"We'll see what side she's on, won't we?" said Robin.

The others nodded and that was the last words on the subject. Within a half hour, they all headed into their rooms and fell into uneasy sleeps.

**Well, that's chapter six! Please review!!**

**Ezerra**


	7. Apprentice Part1 :Deals and Duties

**This is a quicker update, my dear reviewers! Please enjoy, read and review but no flames. Thanks to those who encouraged me to keep this story going.**

I didn't remember falling asleep but I woke up in a warehouse. An abandoned warehouse, to clarify. I assumed this meant nothing good. I stood up and shook the sleep out of my head. It was only dawn, and in the pale light of the rising sun I could see a large, dark masculine figure. I figured this was Slade.

"I'm here, Slade." I informed him needlessly. "Now tell me what you have for me so I can go."

The man's figure turned to face me, and he looked down at me with his single gray eye. "Oh, you'll get what you want, but you aren't leaving."

I felt no surprise at his words; I knew in the back of my mind this was going to be a trap. "If I don't leave then what good am I doing you here?"

"You will do my bidding as my apprentice and in return you get information." Slade drawled.

"How can I trust someone as dark as you?" I scoffed.

"You trust your father, do you not?" Slade asked.

My mouth flew open in shock and my amethyst eyes widened. This couldn't be…… "Lie!" I shouted. "I grew up in a pitiful excuse for an orphanage!"

"Only two years ago did I know that you were still alive." Slade explained. "Arella, the mother of you and Raven—yes, you are half sisters, explaining your looks—did not want to believe she had mothered the child of a villain and so hid you from the world. Little did she know that her daughter would find her way to her father."

"But Raven's powers came from her father, Trigon! I saw it in her head once!" I defied all facts that proved I was Slade's daughter. I'd never believe it. I couldn't accept it. It was drilling a hole through me and the fact that I'd always tried to be good. The hole destroyed that, the thing I tried to live for.

"The silly girl did not know that half of her powers came from her mother and therefore was unable to access that part of her power." Slade continued. "You always knew your powers came from somewhere but you never gave thought as to where."

I glared at the villain; he was right and I couldn't stand it.

"Now that I've given you some information, you must now serve me." Slade said.

I laughed at his words. When I was done, I turned serious-faced. "You're serious with this huh?" I said. "Well, in that case, no!"

"So be it," and he attacked me. He unexpectedly lifted me from behind and pulled me into an air-depriving squeeze. I kicked furiously, trying to make him put me down but his grip only tightened and I could feel my ribs about to break. I focused and soon the dark man was engulfed in black energy. He flew off of me and I landed, gasping for air.

We battled on, until he attacked me so fiercely, over and over again that I just couldn't get up anymore. I tried to sit up, but my body couldn't do it. I lay in a weak heap on the floor and shuddered at the pain and the fact that I looked so pathetic.

"Rest, Ezerra." Slade said, standing over me. "You accept my proposition then?"

I had no energy to argue let alone fight anymore so I nodded weakly.

I officially left my post as being a good person, I couldn't even try anymore and I couldn't fool myself into thinking that I'd ever escape this fate. I wanted to know my family, but now I wished I had never known. I knew I would now be known as the traitor to the Titans, and as Slade's daughter and his apprentice. I knew that as the energy slipped from my body that I could never try to be a hero again, for the rest of time until Slade released me I would bound by the compromise between us and I would be forced to be evil. And even after I was released, I could never be good, knowing I made this foolish mistake.

Pain and weariness seeped away as I fell into the blackness of sleep, half hoping I'd never wake up.

I woke up with my black hair draped in front of my face. "Why is my hair black?" were the first words to the masculine villain.

"It matches better with your new outfit." Slade answered. A pile of dark clothes landed in front of me. I grabbed them and ran into a closed off room and changed. As I walked out, I saw my T-communicator lying among the clothes. I had an impulse to reach out and call the Titans, tell them I was sorry and needed help.

But that couldn't change that I had chosen to betray them and so walked out of the room.

"What do you want, Slade?" I asked my voice cold.

"At nigh-fall, which will arrive soon, seeing as you slept all day, you will break into the Osmiam lab and steal a vial labeled "Neosporatis". Think you can handle that?" Slade challenged his voice like steel.

I nodded, and when the cover of darkness arrived, I flew off. Flying close to the security tight lab, I landed softly and crept towards the building. I crept along the wall, and entered through the back door. I padded through the shadows of the dark halls. I reached a vent where I could crawl through and reach the room containing the precious neosporatis. I will admit that it was a tough crawl, especially in this bulky suit; the suit had arm-cuffs, shoulder-pads, knee-pads and shin-guards. When I reached the room, I lowered myself through the vent and dropped to the floor.

I crawled in a crouch toward the vial in its glass case. A few steps away, I reached onto the belt of this new suit and behold, a laser pen. I cut a smooth hole out of the glass, and grabbed the silver-blue vial. Ear-splitting alarms sounded, as expected and the five super-heroes arrived.

I saw them and turned my back on them, and ran. I bursted through door after door, not caring how loud I was; my operation no longer needing to be secretive. I dashed onto the roof and whipped around, facing the people I had once called friends.

"Ezerra, why?" shouted Starfire, her hands aglow.

I opened my mouth to speak and a vivid pain shot the through my head, battering my skull. My knees gave in and I sunk to the floor, holding my head.

_Don't speak to them,_ said a voice in my head, _Or the damage gets worse._

_Leave me alone, Slade!_ I screeched back in my mind, my head throbbing. Another pain imploded in my brain and I grit my teeth. _Fine, _I gave in and stood up to face my ex-friends.

My face was as blank as stone when I faced them. Starfire looked slightly sad, Raven looked like she knew this was who I was all along, Beast Boy and Cyborg showed no emotion. Robin, he looked he was remembering something and looked for a second like he understood my problem.

Puh-lease.

I took a step back-words and Starfire raised her glowing hands, signaling that she would blast me if I moved again. I knew running was no longer an option. So I flew up and forward and attacked the auburn haired alien. When she aimed at me, I grabbed her wrists right as she released green star bolts and they hit the green ani-morph called Beast Boy.

I threw Starfire onto the roof from this height, about twenty feet in the air. She hit the concrete with a dull thud. Raven screamed, "Azarath, metrion sinthos!" and sent a huge chunk of metal at me. I grabbed some sort of gun out from the belt around the short skirt of outfit and quickly pulled the trigger, firing at the metal. The metal exploded, a larger piece accidentally smacking Raven in the head. She fell, holding her head.

Cyborg transformed his right arm into a laser cannon and fired rapid shots at me. I swerved and ducked them and then an idea hit me. I flew towards a lightning rod that was on the roof. I soared in circles around it and Cyborg hit it with the cannon, just as I wanted him to. It fell and smacked him aside. I flew towards Robin, kneeing him in the back unexpectedly.

He keeled forward, but spun around and caught me in the shoulder with a fierce punch. I staggered sideways and hit the ground. I jumped up and we fought hand-to-hand. I grabbed his mask and pulled back, snapping it to his face. But when I looked at his face, the mask was not there. Before I could see his eyes, he dipped his head down and grabbed the mask.

I leaped off the roof and flew back to the warehouse. I had succeeded and so, Slade would not punish me. My frie—ex-friends, would be okay, I had only injured them slightly. So why did I feel so horrible?

When I walked into the dimly lit foyer of the warehouse, Slade awaited me. I handed over the vial of neosporatis.

"Good girl," he praised. "Daddy's very proud."

Fury bubbled hotly in my gut my I said nothing. I was in no condition to fight with the dangerous villain, physically and mentally. I sat down up against a pillar in the shadows and brought my knees to my chest. I felt my leg press the S emblem on my shirt into my skin but I was so tired that it didn't matter. I placed my chin on the cold knee-pad of my left leg and fell asleep, my dreams replaying the night's events.

Something I had hoped to escape.

**So, what did you think of this chapter? Please review! Thanks to those who will!**

**Ezerra**


	8. Apprentice Part2: Painful Change

**Thanks to the reviewers! 42 reviews, thank you so much! Here's chapter eight for you!**

A few days later after the break-in at the Osmian lab, I found Slade working on some sort of device. I looked over his shoulder, floating because of his height. Noticing I was there, he whipped around, a gun shaped thing pointed at me. I stumbled back, lost concentration and hit the floor. My eyes were widened in fear that he'd pull the trigger on me.

"Afraid so easily, Ezerra?" he taunted.

Anger flared in me instantly and I jumped up. "Not of you," I retorted, my hands glowing black.

"So quick to anger, are we?" he continued.

"I'm always mad at you," I snapped.

"I house you, tell you secrets and you are mad at me?" he asked.

"I'm mad because you starve me and a _real_ father wouldn't do that," I glare at him.

"Starvation alerts your fighting senses, and you'll know what I mean in our training sessions," Slade said dismissively.

"Who said I'd let you train me?" I growled.

"No one; because you won't let me, you'll fight instinctually." He said. "I like the attitude though."

Everything about Slade angered me; his constant nonchalant tone, the way he tried to control me, the way he was always right. I couldn't control myself—I threw myself at the villain, hurling a punch at him. He caught it with ease and twisted my arm behind me and I cried loudly in pain as I slumped the floor.

"We can't have you trying to rebel, can we?" said Slade in that dark, nonchalant tone.

I said nothing but shrieked louder than before as he twisted my arm farther. "NO!" I screamed when I refused to say anything, causing him to twist it to the point I could feel it about to crack.

He released me, and I rubbed my hurt arm. I look up at him, complete loathing in my eyes. Some father he was….

"You learned your lesson then, Ezerra?" he inquired. I said nothing. "Regardless, its time for some training."

I stand up and before he can attack me, I flew into him; literally. But before my fists could make contact with his gut, he grabbed me around the middle and threw me. With the momentum of my flight, I was flying backwards and so I swung completely around a bar. I flew back down, my feet colliding with his back. He lurched forward but used the fall's power and speed to swing around and punch me in the side. I was knocked sideways, but recovered myself and faced the dark man, my amethyst eyes filled with fury and hate beneath their glow and my fists clenched with black fire around them.

Slade chuckled. "Well, don't you just look _frightening_?"

"I bet I do," I retorted.

"That is enough for now." He continued.

"What?" We fought for like, five seconds and I didn't even get to beat the crap out of him!

"_For now_." He repeated and began working on the gun-like mechanism.

Half a month later, I was sent on another mission. This time I was to come back with another vial of neosporatis. I had been battle-trained harshly, and could not fail or punishment would ensue. I went in through the roof and directly into the vents. The Titans didn't arrive until I was on the roof, but this time I needed no encouragement from "Daddy" to attack them; I didn't wish to endure pain through hesitation. I easily knocked out the Tameranian and the half-robot was stuck beneath a section of concrete. Raven attacked me but I threw her off without breaking a sweat.

I had changed in the past month; I had to if I wished to live. Now I fought Robin; he ran at me and at the last second, he attempted to kick me but I grabbed his foot and flipped him. I thought of how I had once trained with him, he taught me some things, and here I was, acting like the past had never happened.

Lost in my thoughts, he threw a punch at me and it connected solidly with my face. I staggered back, a hand on my face. When he launched another attack at me, I grabbed him with my dark powers and dangled him over the busy streets. I saw him look down at the car-filled street. I thought of dropping him, one less Titan, the leader of them. I glared at the Boy Wonder, barely keeping him in the air. A dark grin played on my lips at the prospect of dropping Robin.

The idea evaporated when I saw the horrified and afraid look on Robin's face when I looked at him, and I almost screamed in fear of myself. Who was I? Surely I, Ezerra, could not have considered….killing…the Titan?

I gently placed Robin on the roof and sped out of sight, my eyes watering and my breath harshly catching in my throat. Who was I now? What had Slade turned me into?

I returned to Slade with the vial and hurried into the darkest corner of the room. I had almost murdered, and I had enjoyed the thought. I was a monster, a psycho. A sob racked my body and a transparent tear ran down my face. I wanted to escape the past, forget the horrible moments, but what was done was done.

I had wanted to kill the Boy Wonder. My soul seemed to shatter as I realized what I had done. I had put a seal on my point of no return, I could never be good, and all I wanted to do was escape my life at that moment.

More silent tears left wet tracks on my face and sobs ran through me. I was glad I was in the shadows where Slade could not see me, where he could not judge me or see me so weak.

I cried myself to sleep that night, and my dream was reliving the moments of cruelty.

_I dangled the Boy Wonder over the street. A cruel grin was on my pale lips and I thought of dropping the teen into the car-swarmed street. He could never survive the fall and the thought pleased me. One less Titan...._

"_Ezerra…" he pleaded._

"_Say good-bye, Robin." I said darkly and I released him. The Boy Wonder plummeted to his death with a cry and I stood there, watched him and _laughed_. _

That same dream reoccurred all night and I couldn't get myself to awaken. I screamed in my sleep, and writhed and twitched and tears leaked from my closed eyes. I could never forgive myself and I could never forget. I was cursed with this dreadful memory and it would continue to haunt me.

**Tell me what you thought of this chapter! No flames though! Thank you to those who review!**

**Ezerra**


	9. Apprentice Part3: Final StandUp

**Here is chapter nine folks! Read, enjoy review! Thank and kudos to my reviewers!**

I blinked awake at dawn the next morning. Slade was watching me with his single cold, gray eye. I realized that the tear tracks were visible on my pale face and I wished that he couldn't see that I had shown weakness—well, crying was weakness in _his_ eyes.

"You cried and writhed in your sleep," said Slade, as if that was as common as saying 'Hey, look its dawn.'

I stood up and glared at him. "You didn't wake me because….?"

The villain shrugged his massive shoulders. "The thought never occurred to me."

My annoyance flared into anger within seconds. "A real father wouldn't have allowed that. He would care for his child, but obviously you don't! I'm nothing to you!" I shrieked, anger and sadness pulsing through me.

"Oh, dear Ezerra you don't—" Slade began but I interjected.

"I'm not your 'dear' anything!" I shouted the momentary sadness disappearing and hot fury singing in my veins. "I don't understand what? That being a villain means more to you than your daughter? Because you know what, I'm done here!"

He held my hate-darkened gaze, his eye as cold as the steel color it was. "Is that so?"

"Yeah, it is." I retorted. My hands ignited into black flames and I used my powers to hoist Slade into the air. I made to slam up against the roof but somehow he had whipped out that gun-mechanism before my powers had grabbed a hold of him. Its barrel was pointed at me and I had a feeling that Slade was not about to hesitate to pull the trigger.

In slight fear, I released him, dropping the man to the concrete. I then ran at him, kicking the gun away. It smacked a pillar and it broke into two fragments. I smirked on the inside that I had managed that. But as Slade fought on with me, the tables were turning on me. After most of the anger escaped, my fighting skills began to lower. Slade took advantage of this and did something I never thought he'd do—he kicked me in the gut so hard, I smacked the floor on my back and rolled a few feet away. I lay on my right side, my back to my villainous father.

I felt broken inside—mentally and physically. My breathing was quick and shallow as the air could not return to my lungs for a few minutes. As my breathing returned to normal pace, Slade kicked me again, forcing the air from my body once more. On the third kick, I thought he was going to kick me to death, because I had defied him.

I was kicked into a shadowy section of the room. My ribs felt cracked and my back felt broken but my pride felt shattered as I felt cool tears stream down my face. I turned my head to face my cruel mentor and cried-begged, "Stop Slade, please stop."

Breath was coming deeper and heavier as Slade only looked down at me, his eye narrowed. "Then you have learned to never defy me again?" He asked his voice frosted ice.

I nodded, unable to speak without sobbing. I heard to thuds of Slade's boots as he walked away, leaving his daughter crumpled and broken. I let a few tears escape my eyes before forcing them to stop. I had to stay strong if I was to stay alive, to possibly escape someday. One day, I'd fly free from his clutches, and escape to a place I could call home. I promised myself that I would gain freedom…. But how free could I really be? The memories of my past would be with me every moment, every heartbeat of the rest of my life.

The betrayal of the Titans had started it all. The Titans….they thought I was just like any other villain, only caring for myself and I went home at the end of the day feeling triumphant.

Wrong.

They didn't know the agonizing pain I was forced to go through, day after day, night after night. While they sat there, wondering about whatever heroes wondered about, I was tormented, hurt or trained with ferocity that I passed out more than once. While they thought that I enjoyed this life, they thought wrong—for the most part. Sometimes knowing what its like to see the glass half empty was fun but otherwise I wanted to see it half full.

They'd never know how I felt. I could never tell them, not over a transmission, because Slade found and destroyed my communicator and not after I escape—if I do—because they will want nothing to do with me, the traitor and the criminal.

I passed out without remembering when, all too consumed in my thoughts and feelings. I did notice before I passed out was that the gun mechanism had shattered farther since it was beside me and I had been feeling strong emotions. I wondered if I could channel my powers to attack more powerfully when I feel strongly in a certain way.

* * *

The full and new moon came and went by the time Slade assigned me a third mission. When he asked me, I was prepared.

"No," I said.

"What?" he replied.

"I told you before, my time here is up." I began steadily. "But now, I'm ready to fight, fight for control my own life." I slipped into fighting stance.

"Fool," he spat and launched an attack. I put a shadow block up and flipped over it, while the masked man stood there with a slightly puzzled look in his silver eye. I kicked him in the back and when he turned to punch me, I grabbed his fist and twisted his wrist. I heard a faint pop but nothing like a bone cracking. We continued fighting, the winner changing occasionally. With each new pain he brought on, the more fire I fought with, the darker my fiery hands glowed and the more damage my emotions caused.

I slammed Slade up against a pillar with my powers. "For Robin!" I screamed as his back connected with the stone.

"For Terra!" I screeched as I pushed the masked villain into the pillar again, more forcefully.

I pulled him away, swinging him farther back. I held him there, and looked him straight in the eye. "And for me, this damage can only partly cover the physical and mental pain you forced me through!" I screamed and threw him into the stone pillar with such force that if he had not had his armor, he could have been killed by the blow. A sound like thunder erupted from the pillar and it began to crumble. I realized that I had caused the pillar to begin to fall, which the roof would cave in behind it. As I took my time realizing, Slade lay slumped on the floor, unconscious.

The pillar was going to collapse on him.

_Fine, let him be crushed,_ I thought viciously. But even as I thought that I couldn't help but remember that he was my father and deep down—no, I mean way in there—I loved him as my dad. I surged forward and used the dark powers to pull him from beneath the crumpling pillar. I dodged falling ceiling and other parts of the collapsing building. I saw a glint of silver—a second gun mechanism thing. I scooped it up and tucked it onto my belt and continued my escape. I flew onto another roof, where I let go of my father's body. I panted—using your powers to lift a body almost three times your size takes a lot out of you, especially when you've lifted that person three times before.

I sat down, and looked longingly at the Tower. I wish they could see me now, fought with what I had almost become, and emerged triumphant. I wish they could see me now, my days as his servant over, seeing as I fought for my freedom. I wish they could see how sorry I was for almost becoming a complete monster and hurting them just to avoid pain on myself.

_Wishing does no good though_, I thought sadly as I sat there in the middle of the night.

**What do you think? Well, tell me in a review! Thanks to those who will!**

**Ezerra**


	10. Apprentice Part4: Live or Not

**Chapter ten people! Read, enjoy and please review! Thanks to those who have reviewed my past chapters!**

I must have dozed off for a few minutes because I jerked awake, remembering the gun. I stood up and pulled it out my belt. It was bright silver, like chrome, and it looked normal, except for that in the barrel, there was a syringe. Most likely holding deadly poison, the key ingredient being neosporatis.

I held it, wondering what to do with the weapon. I couldn't keep it, now that I was free of the dark man's clutches, I would do all I could to try to be good again. But should I really turn it in? I mean, that's turning in myself too and I didn't think I could face what I've done yet. Holding the silver weapon, I couldn't help but remember the things I had done in the past two months. All the pain and fear I brought all the damage that was done.

It all stabbed my in the heart with a dagger and cut at my soul, and then I realized for the second time that being good was no longer and option; that door was closed. But I didn't and couldn't return to thing I had once become. I was on that line between good and evil, right and wrong. I had lost who I was and couldn't find myself. There was no pathway and no light to guide me to where I belonged. Where I stood, I was caught in the middle of both sides of me, my good past and my bad, raged for control. Part of me felt that I should try to return to good but the other convinced me that side dissolved from me.

Stuck in the sadness and pain, my emotions became uncontrollable. The gun thing in my hand exploded, sending shards of metal flying.

A sharp point pierced me on the wrist, just below an "S" scarred palm—the palm branded by Slade soon after I became his apprentice. I jumped back in pain and the piece of roof I stood on disintegrated and I plummeted downward, towards the white pavement. I didn't save myself, I had no energy left. I fell through the darkness of night, the punishment for my previous actions coming to get me.

When I felt as if the concrete was below me, someone or something swung beneath me and saved me. I was placed onto cold ground, with my rescuer looking down at me.

The Boy Wonder was there.

"Shouldn't have, Robin." I muttered, the energy leaving my body slowly.

"I was on watch, seeing if you were going to go steal—" Robin began but his masked eyes saw the needle in my left arm.

I cried in pain as he pulled it out of my skin. Drops of blood oozed from the wound. "Help me," I screamed in a semi-quiet voice, my voice acting on instinct. I couldn't let him save me, my mind knew that. But my body didn't listen, it wanted to live.

"I'll help you." He whispered and grabbed a hold of my arm. He squeezed the wound, and silver-blue liquid mixed with red dripped from the opening. He placed my am down for a second and grabbed his communicator. "Found Ezerra, injured, by the old company building!" he shouted into it and closed it before there was a reply.

I felt my body losing it senses, losing itself. I could feel my time coming, but I wished it wasn't so soon. Why couldn't I have controlled my emotions just that once? I gave a defeated, agonized cry before slipping into blackness. Not death, but unconsciousness.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------Robin heard the black-haired girl shriek and her head dip to the side. She was dying quickly as he tried to suck out the poison. The remaining Titans returned to their leader, saw him crouching over the limp body of the arch-enemy's apprentice, holding her arm up to his face.

They hurried to him.

"She's losing herself," he said them. "She's dying, we can't let that happen!"

"Robin, she tried to….." Starfire didn't finish, knowing the leader knew what she meant.

"But she doesn't deserve this," the Boy Wonder said sharply, eyeing the motionless girl. "She deserves a chance, Star. Cyborg?"

"I'm not sure what I can do, man. But I'll try my best." The half-robot replied, picking up Ezerra in his arms.

The arrived at the Tower soon, where Cyborg hooked up the villainous girl to machines, where her life was on a monitor screen. The fate of the girl rested in the hands of the Titans.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------"I wonder if she's gonna wake up soon." said a voice.

"Shut up, Beast Boy," scolded a female voice.

"She'll wake up on her own time, guys," said a third voice.

I blinked awake and found myself on a couch, with the window to my right, looking over a city. I was in the Tower. "I'm in the Tower? Why am I in the Tower?" I asked groggily, probably sounding retarded.

"Well, we couldn't leave you there!" Beast Boy replied as if it was obvious.

My mind snapped awake and everything that occurred last night flooded back to me. I stood up and faced them. "You should have, seeing as I'm Slade's daughter and was his apprentice." I said. I let my words sink in and spun around, and then stormed out, more furious at myself than them letting me live. Tears of many emotions filled my eyes, but I forced them away. I was fifteen, I shouldn't be crying. I should have never cried over the last two months but I did.

I ran down the dark hallways and into the bathroom. I locked the door, excluding myself from the presence of the Titans. I didn't deserve this. I sat on the floor, my knees tucked to my chest, the thigh-pads digging into my chest. I placed my head on my knees, and a single tear ran down my face and then my leg.

I really need to learn to stop crying and how to thank people. But for now, I silently let the tears run down my pale face and thought of why they could have possibly let me come here.

**Thats the chapter people! What did you think of it? Review, the voices are telling you to. No wait, I'm the one with the voices...**

**Ezerra**


	11. Chapter 11: Feelings

**Hello, readers! This is one of my shorter chapters, but good nonetheless--I hope! Enjoy, read review!**

That night at dinner time, I walked timidly toward the kitchen but stopped in the hallway just outside the entryway. I watched them laughing and eating, and the pain stabbed me in the chest again but I threw it aside. The food was so mouth-watering but I felt like I shouldn't go eat some. Robin was the only one not talking with the other Titans, he was solemn looking and stating down blankly at his food.

"Is Ezerra going to eat with us?" Starfire inquired suddenly.

"She looked pretty thin to me," Beast Boy commented.

Cyborg stood up. "I'll go see if she wants to eat." The half-robot man said. Even though he was half machine, he felt the most human of them all; he was the one who actually said how he felt. He turned to look for me. I ran down the hallway with muted footsteps in the opposite direction, trying to avoid the metallic man.

I got cornered in the gym, I was sitting on the bench-press, looking at my feet. He sat down next to me. But I didn't look up.

"I'm sorry," I apologized quietly. "I shouldn't have done what I did; I never meant to hurt you guys. Don't say 'its ok' or 'you're forgiven' because it's not ok and I don't deserve to be forgiven."

After a few moments of silence, Cyborg replied, "You're right. But everyone deserves a second chance."

"Even people like me?" I asked in surprise, looking up into his face.

He nodded. "Even people like you. Why don't you come eat with us?"

"I can't," I said, looking at my petite feet again. I was afraid that if I sat with them, ate with them, and had fun, dark and painful memories would flood back and I wouldn't be able to control my emotions and therefore would have an emotional breakdown. "No one really wants me around right now."

"BB and I sure do," Cyborg said gently. "I know he really missed you making jokes and laughing. And who was gonna beat me at games, eating a ton of food and ensure a real laugh at meals?"

"But you'll never really want me to stay." I replied. "Knowing what I did, I'll never make it right and you guys can never accept me."

He sighed. "I know what its like to be in your position," he began. "Ever since the accident, I always felt different and like I shouldn't be; the guy I crashed with didn't make it. When I first became part machine, I felt as if I should have taken the other guy's place. But I learned that if you trust someone, you'll learn how to deal with your problems."

"I never knew that," I said quietly. I couldn't believe that the great metal man ever felt that way.

"Stay with us for a while; things will get better, Ezerra." The robotic man promised.

"Do you forgive me?" I asked him, just out of curiosity.

Cyborg hesitated and then answered. "Be a good girl, and I will."

I gave a small grin. "I will Cyborg. I'll try to make up for what I did."

He held out a hand and I gave him mine, and he helped me up. We walked back into the kitchen. We ate some pizza, all six of us. Each of us had a different kind too.

I laughed loudly for the first time in two months when Beast Boy told a joke, even though it was lame. I smiled a big smile for the first time in two months when Starfire told me about the time Silkie ate her sock. I used my powers to tip water onto Raven's head for a laugh, and then in turn, she tipped some onto mine without a smile, making me crack up at her expressionless face—which honestly, I didn't know Raven had a joking side.

Robin was the only one who didn't join the fun, but I glimpsed him smirking once or twice, watching his team-mates have fun with me. He showed what every other Titan felt inside but kept bottled up; unease and untrusting emotions. But I tried ignoring it; I was enjoying myself for the first time in two months and I wanted nothing in the way.

When everyone padded off to bed, I slept on the couch. Now that I was alone, it was hard not to think on the last two months. But I shoved the memories away and down the stairs; I was done remembering. I had my mind set on trying to repair the damage I caused. Even though I was determined to do so I did know this; even if you heal the wound, it still leaves a scar.

I drifted off into painless sleep for the first time in a long time and I was grateful.

**So what did you think of this one? As I said before, this was a li'l shorter than most of my chapters are. Press the button labeled 'Review'. That would be nice, thanks. 55 and chapter 12 will be served.**

**Ezerra.**


	12. Chapter 12: Apologies

**Hello, readers! This is one of my shorter chapters, but good nonetheless--I hope! Enjoy, read review!**

Because of the bright sunlight streaming through the living room window, I woke up, as it was shining on my face. I sat up and shook the sleep out of my head. I got up off the couch and headed into the kitchen. I searched through the pantry and found some rolls. Warming them up in the microwave for a few seconds, I grabbed the butter. After fixing my breakfast and packing the other things away, I sat on the couch and ate in silence.

Finishing my meal, I stood up and stretched. I headed down the hallway toward Raven's room. My heavy boots echoed my steps, and I winced, remembering the villain suit I was wearing. I arrived at the empath's door and I knocked on her metal door. It opened a small bit, one of her dark eyes saw me and the door shut immediatly.

"Raven, please!" I begged, knocking again. "I just want to talk, please Raven I'm sorry!"

The door opened a small bit once more, and Raven sighed, opening the door so I could come in. I walked in and stood against the wall. My eyes adjusted to the dim light and then I could see Raven standing across from me, arms folded against her chest, her eyes looking at me coldly.

"Well?" she prompted.

"Raven, I'm sorry for what I've done." I began. "I never meant to hurt you or any of the titans, I never wanted to be his apprentice."

"You seemed to enjoy it when we saw you." The short-haired girl retorted, making me wince.

"I only seemed like that because Slade was watching me at all times. I didn't want him to hurt me, so I hurt you instead." I replied. "I know my apologies can never repay for what I did but please try, try to understand what I'm going through."

"You're right, they can't and never will. You still hurt my friends, and every time they'll look at you they'll see the villain in you." Raven said coldly. "I'll never forgive you for what you've done and the only reason I put up with you now is because if I made you leave again it would hurt them again."

"What about last night at dinner?" I asked, surprised her dark undertone.

"I was showing them I'd try to forgive you," Raven said simply. "Starfire and Beast Boy and Cyborg may forgive you easily, but I know that Robin never will. You tried to kill him and none of us will ever forget that."

"Raven I didn't mean to... I never wanted to... please you have to..." I stammered, knowing my plan of trying to talk to my sister was a fail.

"I heard you before; you've got villain blood. So do I; Trigon. But I never purposely tried to kill my friends," Raven replied. "If you even consider us that much."

"I didn't want to hurt him! I didn't want to hurt any of you!" I cried. "I know what I did was wrong now and I'm sorry! Don't you understand how this hurts? How knowing that when Robin sees me he sees the girl who tried to kill him? When you see me you see the girl who tried to kill your friend and enjoyed being a villain?"

Raven stepped forward to me and I backed up into the wall.

"But you did, and sorry doesn't change that, Ezerra," the half demon said in her monotone voice. "You just admitted you liked it and that makes you just like Slade, whether you want to be or not, whether you wanted to like it or not now. Ezerra, I'll try to put up with your presence, with your apologies and I'll try to accept you. But forgiveness you'll have to work for."

I nodded. "I know I'll never be able to get it but I understand." Her words had stung, like a burn on my skin but I didn't show her she hurt me.

She stared me straight in the eyes and I hoped she could see the pained, apologetic female who I was inside. "You can go," she ordered, stepping away from me.

I stood there stiffly, as if her words had gone mute on my ears. "Raven...I wanted to tell you...I'm your sister."

Her dark purple eyes widened like full moons. "What?"

"Arabella had me with Slade a year after your birth." I said softly. "So I'm your half sister."

Raven did not respond in her shock. I didm't say anything else, just left her in her shocked silence, as I left the dark room into the hallway.

_Yes, that went well...._ I thought to myself before leaving and knocking on Starfire's door. The Tameranian answered almost immediatly after the small rap on her gray door. Her green eyes saw me and opened the door for me to come in. I stepped into the sunshine filled room which was the exact opposite of the previous room I had been in.

"I'm really sorry Starfire," I apologized immediatly to her. She had been the closest person to me, so I had hurt her the worst. "I never planned on doing what I did. I never wanted to hurt you or any of the Titans."

The mauve-clad alien said nothing but was looking at me, her emerald eyes filled with hurt. I winced, knowing this was all my fault and that it was me who had hurt her.

We stood looking at each other, neither one of us sure what to say. I prepared to leave, assuming that she, like everyone else, wasn't going to say anything to forgive or accept me. And I understood that, knew it was what I deserved. Right as I turned, Starfire spoke up.

"Ezerra, are you truly sorry?" she asked, the pain of two months before shining in her green eyes.

"Starfire, I've never been more sorry. I'd take all I did back in a heartbeat. I'm sorry, from the depth of my heart." I looked straight into her eyes, praying she could see the hurt, sorry girl I was inside, instead of the hurtful villain she saw on the outside, due to my dark attire.

"I cannot forgive you yet, but I will forgive you after time. You were a good friend and I believe that you truly are sorry for what you did." Starfire replied, pulling me into a squeezing hug. I rested my head on her shoulder and wrapped my arms around her in a return hug.

We pulled away, and I knew tears were in my eyes. I gave her a faint smile before heading out the door and down the hallway.

I walked to Beast Boy's room. I knocked, and after hearing a faint "Come in," entered the messy room. I manuevered my way through the clutter to where Beast Boy stood, his head turned to me. I looked him in the eyes and Beast Boy locked gazes with me and pain entered his pale green gaze.

"I'm sorry BB," I said apologetically. "I wish I could take what I've done and throw it away, erase it, get rid of it somehow. I swear I never planned on hurting you or your friends. I really am."

The changling walked up to me, so that we were inches apart. "You really hurt us, Ezerra."

I flinched inwardly. "I know," I said softly.

"But I think you're really sorry," BB continued, still looking up at me. "I'm not sure when I can forgive you, after what you've done, but I'll find out when. Promise not hurt us again please."

"Ok, BB, I promise." I replied and I held my arms out for a hug and BB turned into a cat and leaped into my awaiting arms. I smiled and held him close to my chest. I smoothed down the sticking up fur on the top of his fluffy green head before setting him back down. He changed back as I left.

I weaved through the dirty laundry, comic books and other rubbish until I reached the door. I exited the room and I walked slowly down the hallway to the Titans' leader's room. I arrived finally.

Before I reached his door, I paused and pressed my back against the wall. I turned my head left and then right and pulled off my shoulder pads, then I slipped off my weapons belt. Withing the belt, in a hidden pocket, I had Slade's mask: when I layed him on the roof after saving him, I removed it. After the belt, came the kneepads, the shin-pads and quad-pads. I was left in a shoulder-only sleeved half-black, half-orange shirt and a black skirt with black leggings.

I knocked on the door and it opened automatically. I wrapped my armor in the belt and walked in. Robin was hunched over his desk, the way I had seen the first time in his room. I placed the armor on his desk. He turned his head and saw me. I couldn't tell his expression.

"Thought you might want the armor of your former enemy." I said. "I'm sorry for what I've done to you and the Titans. Sorry will never cover it and I never expect an apology from you, if I ever get one from anyone else. Sorry, Robin, I really am. I didn't deserve for you to save me when you did, because I almost didn't save you."

Without an answer, I walked out of his semi-lit room, back into the hallway. The Boy Wonder stared after my retreating figure, I had looked over my shoulder to see him looking at me expressionlessly. I left and into the bathroom, to rinse out my hair. I saw the black dye mixed with water slide down the drain with a gurgle. After an hour my hair was normal purple again.

**So what did you think of this chappie? Well, review! Flames better go somewhere else, thats all I have to say.**

**Ezerra.**


	13. Chapter 13

**Hey! Chapter thirteen**

Over the next couple of weeks, I wandered around the Titans Tower like a ghost. I didn't talk or interact with anyone much. Only occasionally did I eat with them. A few times Starfire attempted to make conversation with me, but honestly, it felt like pouring salt onto the wound.

I sat on the roof a lot. It was a place where I could be alone to think, to feel. I began to sit up there all the time everyday, only going into the Tower for meals.

I know I had said I'd let go of my past, but it's a lot harder than I thought it'd be. Everytime I saw someone, a memory would spring up; some good, dome bad. Like everytime I saw Starfire, I thought of how she's been my closest friend. Or when I saw Beast Boy or Cyborg, I thought of how we used to laugh and play games. Or Raven, how she disliked me so greatly.

Or Robin, how I almost let him go when I held him so high above the streets.

I ate less and less as I distanced myself from the Titans. I stopped realizing when I was hungry as I spent more time meditating and within my thoughts.

I suppose they got worried about me and my health because Robin, of all Titans, came up with a plate of hot food. He sat beside me and placed the tray beside me. When I didn't look at him or the food directly, he nudged it closer to me. I still didn't respond.

"Come on Ezerra, we can't have you starving," Robin insisted.

"Why not?" I whispered. I turn my head and look at him. "Why not? Why did you let me come here, after I betrayed your trust? Why did _you_ save me when I almost killed you? I don't understand why you did what you did. I was a villian and Slade is my father; isn't that enough reason for you to leave me to die?"

Robin paused before answering. "I'm a hero. I save people. It's my job. You may have been a villian but you didn't deserve to die. You at least should be brought back to full health."

"But a prison could've provided that. Why didn't you send me to jail, like I deserved?"

"Because you may have been given a life sentence. You are fifteen or sixteen; that's a long time," He replied. "Being Slade's apprentice wasn't your fault. I know what it's like to be in your place."

"No," I said quickly. "No, you don't. You weren't a villian like I was. You didn't enjoy it like I did." I looked down at my feet, which were swinging back and forth slowly off the edge of the tower. "You didn't hurt people like I did."

"I haven't told you everything."

"Care to share now?"

"I've been Red-X and I have hurt my friends," Robin admitted, looking away from me and out at the dark water. "I have betrayed their trust. I have lied to them and was a minor villian for my own selfish reasons; to gain Slade's trust so I could catch him."

"But they still like you," I said. "My sister doesn't like me now."

Robin's eyes widened slightly. "Raven?" he asked.

I nodded.

There was an odd silence between us before he spoke again.

"There was another time..." He took a deep breath. It seemed painful for him to tell his next story.

"If it's painful for you to tell me, Robin you don't have to--" I began, not wanting him to hurt.

He shook his black, spiky-haired head. "A while ago during the late night, Slade's mask had an odd reaction. I breathed in some dust filled with Energon from the mask and suddenly Slade was back. I felt like I was fighting him. But Star and everyone else told me he wasn't there, he wasn't real. I was so angry at them and I shouted and hurt Starfire for the first time. I let Slade become an obsession. I threatened to take them out if they got in my way. They were so worried. It had all been in my head. Slade was only in my mind so when my clothes were torn and I was bruised...I did that to me somehow."

I saw him shudder faintly. This had to be hard on him to confess this. Recalling how the need to stop a villian--who ended being in his head--had driven him to the point where his friends were not as important was painful.

"Robin, I'm so sorry," I placed my hand lightly over his.

His hand lightly twitched under my touch but he didn't draw away instantly. "I do understand how you feel. I do understand what it means to feel like you can't win the battle you had to fight alone."

I nodded and blinked back salty tears. His pain at pushing away people that were close to him was like mine. Robin removed his hand from under mine. I placed my hand in my lap.

"I have been driven as far as you," I said after an awkward silence. "I...want to thank you...for helping me understand."

He blinked. "Welcome."

"This is the most I've heard you talk at any one time, you know. Ever," I said and grinned.

He smirked quickly and then placed his normal, expressionless face on. He held up a bisciut. "Will you eat now?"

"You did, didn't you?" I took the bisciut from him and took a bite. It was buttery and light. I finished eating it quickly.

"Robin," I said after eating. "I really want to thank you. For saving me. For helping me. For trusting me enough to tell me about your past. Thanks, alot."

I didn't think when I did what I did next. It just happened. I leaned forward and kissed him on the cheek. I felt my cheeks burn as I realized what I did. I dived off the edge of the roof as my cheeks turned extremely red. Robin was left to sit wide-eyed and open-mouthed.

Was I completely retarded? It was obvious Robin and Starfire had a spark of liking. Was I a fool? Robin was too good for me. I didn't even like him that much.

So why did I kiss him?

Then I realized maybe I did like him a lot. I admired the way he fought; I envied how well he could lead; I loved how dedicated to being a hero he was. When we first met--not when he shoved me up against a concrete wall, but when we had first talked and such--I had wanted to be just like him.

I still do.

And I have spoiled everything with my stupid mistake.

Before I hit the water, I sharply turn upwards. I flew back to the roof and landed softly. The Boy Wonder was gone, but the tray of still-warm food remained. I kicked the plate off the roof before sitting down to watch the sun set. I sighed; would there every be something I couldn't mess up?

* * *

**So what did you think of this chappie? Well, review! Flames better go somewhere else, thats all I have to say.**

**Ezerra.**

**RobXStar fans please don't eat me.**

**Ezerra**


	14. Chapter 14

**Here is chapter fourteen! Read, enjoy and review!**

You thought I was avoiding them before? I kicked it up a couple of notches. I entered the T-shaped tower once every few days. I didn't show my face--or worse, show my face to the Boy Wonder. Had he told them? Did he stop liking me the little that he had? Had they all?

I didn't know. But every time I'd come in for some tea, or water or whatever and Robin happened to be in the kitchen or living room at that time, I'd blush so red it put a rose to shame. Then I'd fly out. I could never look him in the face or be near him.

As time wore on though, I thought we could put the incident behind us. Winter months made living outside most of the week unpleasant. I started staying inside the Tower more often. I stuck to the dark hallways like a shadow. After weeks of silence between Starfire and me, I tried to start a conversation.

"Hey Starfire," I greeted the alien.

She seemed surprised that I had spoken. "Hello, Ezerra."

Rubbing my arm in discomfort and nervousness, I asked, "Would it be okay if I lived in your room again? Its getting colder outside..."

She blinked. "Sure."

Starfire led me towards the wide open room. We entered the bedroom and I was hit with the memory of my first night. She thought we'd be good friends...If she knew, would she still agree?

I walked over to her bed and sat down. "So..."

"I do not know why you seem nervous," Starfire said. "Is there something wrong? Have you done something and now you feel the guilt?"

_Yeah, but I wouldn't tell you whats wrong. _"No, just everything I've done wrong..." I sighed.

"That is in the past, yes? If you tried to look forward and were around us more, perhaps we could get used to you," the auburn-haired girl suggested. "Used to the new Ezerra."

_Okay...and Slade is the new mayor of Jump City. _I nodded. _But maybe she's right. _"Um, what are we gonna talk about? I don't like silence..."

Because silence is filled with unspoken truth. Silence suffocates me with its memories, feelings and the words it contains. Silence allowed time to think of thoughts uneeded, allowed to bring back sorrow and pain that the mind wishes to forget.

"We could talk of the secrets, or other Earth things," Starfire offered.

"Secrets?" I inquired.

"Yes. Like what people do at the sleeping overs where you do not do the sleeping," she answered. "I have heard that it is something friends do."

_She wants to be a friend; a close friend since she wants to tell secrets with me. _"Then you'd be right. But what secrets would I have left? Or you have at all?"

She smiled and blushed a light pink. "About...boys?"

Had I been drinking something, I would've sputtered and choked. I've never talked about boys in my life; there was never a boy to talk about. There still isn't. "Um...well, do you have a crush on someone?"

She blinked in confusion. "To 'have a crush' is to...?"

"Do you like anyone? I rephrased. "Is there a single person that is above your liking of everyone else? Someone who..." I trailed, unable to explain further.

She lightly plopped down beside me. "Well..."

I really wished I could've raised one eyebrow because I really wanted to at that moment. "Well...what?"

"I did think I had the feelings for someone, but he could not like me back. He is smart but always...distracted," Starfire confessed.

_Robin._ It had to be. Robin is always working. He is the hero who never sleeps. So my theory was half-right. "Maybe he doesn't talk about his feelings. Some guys are like that," I replied. The image of me kissing him on the cheek flashed through my mind. I tried not to let heat rush to my face.

She must've seen the color rise in my cheeks. "Why are you doing the blushing?" The emerald-gazed alien asked.

I shook my head, as if to shake away the blush. "No reason."

Her eyes sparkled with curiosity. "I have the feeling you are lying."

"I am."

"Then what is causing you to be the embarrased emotion?"

I couldn't tell her. I couldn't tell her how I kissed the guy she likes--even if it was on the cheek. I couldn't tell her how I liked her guy--not a lot, but I did. "Memories," I responded simply. It wasn't a lie; after all, it was a memory that made me blush.

She nodded in understanding though she didn't understand at all. An awkward silence settled between us, unspoken confusion and feelings swirling in the wide roomy silence.

I had to break it. "I feel awkward wearing this," I motioned to my outfit, and my hand brushed the "S" emblem.

She stood. "I could let you try on my clothes."

I stood as well. I came up to her shoulder. Wait, not even that. I came up to the tip of her arm cuff. "Um, I don't think I'll fit...I'm a bit short."

She gave a small nod. "Perhaps Raven's would fit better?"

I felt my shoulder's tense and my eyes widen. I hadn't talked to her since my apology and that had gone _so_ well. Was she angry still? Probably. Would she be cold to me, like before? Probably.

Starfire frowned. "Is there something wrong with seeing friend Raven?"

I shook my head. "Nothing's wrong." _Except the fact that she's my sister and she hates me._

We left the bright, wide room and into the darker hallway. We walked to the room labeled "Raven." Starfire knocked on it once.

The door slid open a crack and half of Raven's pale face was in view. Her purple gaze saw the taller alien before drifting down to me.

"Yes?" asked the blue-cloaked girl.

"Ezerra requires a new set of clothing. The one she wears now gives her the feeling of awkwardness," the alien explained. "She would not fit into mine, so I suggested yours."

"I'll see if I have something," the empath replied.

"If you are good, then I shall leave to allow you privacy," Starfire said and she left back to her room.

I was left alone with the untrusting half-demon. Yay.

She opened her door enough to permit me entrance to her dark room. I stepped in almost cautiously. The door shut silently and threw me into almost blackness. The room was dimly lit. I saw Raven in her closet. She pulled out an outfit ad tossed it to me.

I thanked her and went to change. Once in private, I made the clothing change in color to suit me. I switched out my apprentice suit for the cloak and leotard. I came back into her room, former apprentice attire in hand.

"Is there a place to keep this?" I asked her.

Raven raised a dark eyebrow. "Why would you want to keep it?"

"It was..." I tried to explain why. 'It was made by father' wouldn't cut it. I guess I just wanted a connection. I didn't know. "I don't know."

She shrugged and said, "Ezerra, you know I don't trust you. But I want to know what happened. How you really felt."

I blinked in confusion, my brow furrowed. Then it hit me across the face; she wanted to see inside my mind. "Why won't you believe me when I speak?"

She levitated, sitting cross-legged. "Because you were a villain recently," she replied. Quietly, calmly, she added, "Azarath, metrion, zinthos."

A huge, black raven came forth from her and it flew toward me. I tried to ward it off but it flew into me. Flashes of memories pulsed in my head. Slade branding my left palm. Robin falling onto the streets and me smiling and laughing as he plummeted. Slade twisting my arm behind my back painfully and me gritting my teeth in pain. Me enjoying stealing neosporatis for Slade. Slade kicking me and me crying. Me fighting Slade furiously, slamming him into a wall.

The image of Robin on the tower roof with me made me cry out and force Raven out of my head. I knew what was next and she didn't. I wanted to keep it that way.

She opened her eyes and looked down at me. I sat on the floor, my cloak draped around me like a blanket and my head down.

I turned my head up and locked gazes with her. "Do you believe me now?" I whispered.

She didn't respond but dropped down to my level.

"Now do you understand what I went through? The pain? The anger?" I asked, my voice cracking like fragile glass.

Her mauve gaze held no emotion. "You didn't drop him, so you didn't laugh. What was that?"

"You're right; I didn't. It was the nightmare I had that night," I answered.

She paused before asking. "What was that last memory? Why didn't you let me see it?"

I was silent. I couldn't tell her what it really was; Robin seemed to not have told them, so neither was I. I wasn't going to lie; I was tired of lies and pain and other things. "It was too painful to see all the images of the past," I finally answered. It was true. It had been a second knife in me.

She stared me down hard and I held her gaze evenly.

"You're leaving something out," she prompted.

I slightly clenched my jaw. _Why did you have to see the memory of my criminal happiness?_ "What am I missing?"

"You made yourself look like a victim. But I saw what you felt sometimes. You know you enjoyed it at some point."

I dropped her gaze. "I know. But I didn't want... I never... I didn't know I'd end up that way. I was living up to my father's expectations. At first, thats all it was. But then I had to change and it became more..." I looked back up at her, pain in my purple eyes. "Why are you making me do this?"

"I have to know what side you're on. I have to know that you won't be Terra," Raven answered. "We trusted her. We let her live with us in her own room. But she betrayed us. And you did the same thing."

I didn't interject, just listened.

"I had to know that you cared. That you were different," the short-haired girl continued. "You are different from her, aren't you?"

I nodded. "I am." I stood up and brushed off the dust from my dark purple leotard. "I followed in Slade and Terra's footsteps and have done unforgivable things. And I'm sorry for it. I'm unexpressably sorry. I have scars unseen. Maybe you'll view me with a new sight now that you have seen what I saw, felt what I have felt."

I turned away from my sister and walked away. Something landed next to me with a soft thud. A pair of small black boots. They were a replica of my old pair. I put them on, muttered a thanks and left without a second glance.

_Terra had a room. If I find it, maybe I could live there... _I thought to myself. I'd have to get permission but at least then I'd have a place of my own within the quarters of the Tower. I headed back into Starfire's room. She allowed me in instantly. When I came in, I flopped down onto her purple-sheeted bed. Wow, there was a lot of purple in the Tower....

"The visit to friend Raven's was good then?" she asked.

"Yeah," I replied. Though it was still sunny, I closed my eyes. I drifted slowly into sleep in the middle of the day.

**So, what did you think? Review and tell me! I'm not updating until I get 75 reviews. Can I ask for that much? Thanks to those who will take the time and review.**

**Leopardheart**


	15. AUTHOR'S NOTE

_******IMPORTANT NOTICE!***** Not an update**_

Reader and Reviewers of Ezerra,

I'd like to tell you that I thank you for your enthusiastic and encouraging opinions. That was very kind of you to do that. I only wrote because of you guys, because of your pleads.

But this story is cliche, over-used and I no longer think it has meaning to me. No, I'm not saying I will never write a Teen Titans story again, but this one is so cruddy I can no longer remain with the emotions within it, which I failed to portray.

This story will no longer be updated. I will leave it up if you wish me to, but otherwise, I am removing it from the fanfiction world.

I'm sorry my faithful readers, but I must do this. I am unoriginal author and am ashamed of this story ever existing. Sorry if you people actually liked this garbage.

-Leopardheart

EDIT~~~~

After re-reading this story, and consulting with people I trust, I have come to the decision to rewrite Ezerra and place it up here. Of course, the latter of that sentence will be based upon your opinions.

Vote on my poll and if the majority says yes, then yes, Ezerra: The Rewrite will be up soon!

-Leopardheart


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